Pollution Victory for the Drivers of Aberdeen Cars

As important drivers of nice cars, we bet you're sick and tired of being lectured by meanie-greenie treehuggers about pollution.

Well, we're delighted to report that this problem has now been solved with the creation of an air quality monitoring system for Scotland, as reported on the BBC's flagship local news programme "Reporting Scotland". Watch the video if you can be bothered:





What we liked the best was the fact that no attempt is made to address the source of pollution, no attempt is made to suggest that motorists "just leave the car at home" or cycle or walk or get the bus or any other of that usual tiresome nonsense we usually hear so much of.

You see, most people aspire to the convenience of personal motor transport, pay dearly for the privilege, provide much employment, contribute greatly in taxes, and then people expect them to ‘leave the car at home’, while their money is spent appeasing the so-called green lobby by putting up useless wind turbines which are useless.

No, here in Scotland we are taking an innovative approach to pollution. Instead of taking the politically suicidal step of blaming pollution on us hard-pressed put-upon and blameless motorists who, after all, are just trying to get on with a job, instead pollution here is regarded as being a bit like the weather, something that just happens, something that we can do nothing about, and the onus is now on the supposed so-called victims of pollution to provide themselves with knowledge about pollution levels and then just stay inside, taking no exercise of any kind. Good. Of course, these people will be safe from pollution if they just get into their nice cars and drive to work or the shops or the gym rather than cycling or walking there. That way, safe from pollution, they will not only be contributing to the economy, but they will also be contributing to beneficial global warming.