Off-road Segregated Cycle Facilities

Our undercover agent - Codename JannieJumbo - has been beavering away under deep cover, active within Aberdeen's so-called cycling activist 'community' documenting how our hard-earned road-taxes are being diverted, being spent on high-quality facilities for the tax-dodging cyclits and pestestrians.

In this video which he left for us to pick up in his dead-letterbox drop behind the verdigris smeared pipes in the third cubicle along of the derelict Union Terrace Gardens toilets, he shows that our petrol-tax money is being spent on a pleasant leafy cycletrack which runs past the headquarters of the Total Oil company in Altens.

The provocative irony that petrol-using motorists' tax contributions should be spent on cycling facilities which skirt the campus of one of the great petrol companies is not lost on us. That's probably why they've wisely invested so much on the security measures highlighted in the video - like hard-pressed drivers of Aberdeen Cars, the oilco's themselves feel embattled, put upon, besieged by cyclits and pestestrians.



Still, at least when Codename JannieJumbo arrives at Wellington Road to use the Toucan Crossing he is forced to wait while the significantly more important motor-vehicle users roar busily past on their way to create yet more vital economic growth for Aberdeen "City and Shire". Everyone knows that cyclits and pestestrians are far less important to the local economy than motorists. That's why it is gratifying to us that even their much-vaunted 'cycling and walking infrastructure' hammers home this fundamental point. These people simply do not count.