Victory nearly complete!

A reader has submitted a YouTube video which we are delighted to embed below. The auteur has made and exhibited his film in order to demonstrate his fear and hatred of people getting about on bicycles. This is commendable, and we look forward to seeing many more films from him exploring this theme.


However, even the greatest works of art have a flaw, and we hope that the film-maker won't mind that we point out what has been missed. It's quite obvious, really. And it's actually really good news!

In his precis on the YouTube hosting page, the auteur expounds at length about how much he fears and hates people using bicycles on the pavement.We feel for him - no-one likes feeling frightened of stuff. But we also think that the video gives us reasons to be happy.

In the film, the priority given to motor traffic in the very centre of Aberdeen is demonstrated to have forced people on bicycles into conflict with people on foot. Can't our filmmaker see that this is exactly what is required?

For if conditions for people on foot and on bike have been made so very unattractive on the streets of Aberdeen "city and shire" that these people are squeezed into an ever-decreasing share of the urban realm, herded behind barriers and forced to use two-stage crossings with those enclosures in the middle which traffic engineers unblushingly call "sheep pens", then the logical conclusion will be that more and more of these people will abandon their attempts to use "active travel" and just get in the car for their city-centre shopping trips. Then our Victory will be complete! So we thank the film-maker for submitting this video which documents that every day we force more people on bikes off of our roads; and by doing so, we make it more and more likely that they will just take the car the next time they're thinking about going to Union Square for some Handmade Burgers. In this way Aberdeen City and Shire can help to pull the UK economy out of recession.

Check it out:


(aaargh! Royalty-free music soundtrack warning! Turn down your speakers!)